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Post by ManUtd19 on Jan 11, 2008 15:01:10 GMT
A man is driving home, when is pulled over by a patrolman for a broken blinker. The cop looks into the guys' car and sees a collection of knives in the backseat.
"Sir," the cop says. "Why do you have all those knives?"
"They're for my juggling act," the man says.
"I don't believe you," says the cop. "Prove it." So the man gets out of his car and begins juggling the knives. At the same time, a car with two guys in it drives by.
"Man," says the first guy. "I'm glad I quit drinking. These new sobriety tests are hard."
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Post by ManUtd19 on Jan 11, 2008 15:02:45 GMT
Hit TV Shows in Iraq:
"Husseinfeld"
"Mad About Everything"
"U.S. Military Secrets Revealed"
"Suddenly Sanctions"
"Children Are Forbidden From Saying Anything Darndest"
"Matima Loves Chachi"
"Buffy The Slayer of Yankee Imperialist Dogs"
"Wheel of Fortune and Terror"
"Iraq''s Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers"
"Achmed''s Creek"
"The Price is Right If Saddam Says It''s Right"
"M*U*S*T*A*S*H"
"Veronica''s Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses"
"Two Guys, a Girl, and a Mosque"
"When Kurds Attack"
"Just Shoot Me"
"My Two Baghdads"
"Diagnosis Heresy"
"Everybody Loves Saddam Or He''ll Have Them Shot"
"Captured Iranian Soldiers Say the Darndest Things"
"Burka Baywatch"
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Post by ManUtd19 on Jan 11, 2008 15:03:50 GMT
Three mice are sitting at a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are. The first mouse orders a scotch, gulps it down and slams the glass on the bar. He turns to the second mouse and says, "When I see a mousetrap, I lie on my back and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, bench press it 20 times to work up an appetite, and then make off with the cheese."
The second mouse orders two shots of bourbon, slams them down and nearly breaks the glasses on the bar. He turns to the first mouse and replies, "Yeah, well, when I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can, take it home, grind it into a powder, and add it to my coffee each morning so I can get a good buzz going for the rest of the day."
The first mouse and the second mouse then turn to the third mouse. The third mouse lets out a long sigh and says to the first two, "I don't have time for this bullshit. I gotta go home and screw the cat."
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Post by mufcpavlos on Jan 12, 2008 23:53:29 GMT
which ship never arrived at Liverpool?  PREMIER-SHIP!!! |
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Post by CR7™ on Jan 13, 2008 11:57:24 GMT
"I tell you what I had for Christmas...."
Other person: "What?"
"I had a Liverpool season ticket, I thought it was a joke"
Other person: Yeah must be
"So I had it in the house for a couple of days, then thought i aint having this in my house anymore. So i nailed it to a tree outside my house.
Other person: "lol"
"After nailing it I when to the pub and had a couple of pints, told the boys about it and they said what if it is real it should be left there. Someone got through allot of trouble to get you that.
Other person: "Yeah i know"
"So I went back to the tree where i nailed it, looked at it and the season ticket was on the floor, someone had nicked the nail.
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Post by SALFORD RED on Jul 24, 2008 19:11:00 GMT
Seven dwarves sitting in a bath all feeling happy... Happy gets out, they all feel grumpy.  . |
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